the plot twist? I actually like sunlight now
Touching grass has genuinely changed my life for the better.
(Yes, literally and metaphorically. Yes, I know that sounds like a Twitter meme. No, I will not apologize.)
So backstory: I just passed out of 12th grade.
…Okay fine, it’s been 4 months. Get off my back, y’all.
Anyway, not to sound emo, but 11th and 12th were rough. Like, capital R rough. I was introverted, shy, constantly questioning myself, and carrying around a whole inferiority complex the size of Jupiter. Didn’t matter who I met(even random strangers I knew nothing about)my brain would instantly go, “yep, they’re better than you in literally every way.” Love that for me.
I tried to shrink myself as much as possible: take up less space, talk less, be less. But here’s the plot twist: anyone who actually knows me knows that I am the exact opposite. I have a Big Personality. I’m loud (sometimes very loud), I love to yap, I thrive on brainrot, and I love… well, love. Basically, I was suppressing myself so hard it could’ve been a full-time job.
And honestly? It sucked. I barely spoke to people, didn’t make long-lasting friendships, and missed out on so much. Even now, I get FOMO scrolling through summer friend group photos like, “damn… why couldn’t that have been me </3”
But here’s the glow-up: I’m doing better now. I’ve actually found myself (cheesy but true). I picked up new hobbies, stopped doomscrolling (…not every day, let’s be real), and talking to people doesn’t scare me anymore. Connecting with them is still a work in progress, but hey—we’re getting there.
Most importantly: I’m not that negative little goblin anymore. I actually have hope. Hope that things will work out. I give people a chance. I give life a chance.
So yeah. Life isn’t that bad after all :)
